Saturday, July 21, 2012
You will have value whether you fail or succeed.
Did you know that?
The only true failure is not even trying.
Everybody fails at something, its not fun when it happens but I do think that it is essential part of our ascendance. Whether it be professionally or
I honestly believe that we create what we fear.
Before I ran my first marathon, I was terrified. I was injured for weeks prior. I did not feel like I could successfully run 26.2. I tried to find an excuse not to run it and I had plenty. Running a marathon was something I really wanted to do. Why was I so afraid to fail? Failing is embarrassing, defeating, and just plain scary.
When I crossed that starting line, I was taking a risk that could result in failure. As I looked around at those around me we were all in the same game, but we all had different stories. As I sort of just zoned out I thought to myself that I will have value whether or not I fail or finish. I’m trying and giving it my all. Sure, I had a rough go getting here but I’m here and not to try at all would be the biggest failure.
The last mile of the marathon, I thought to myself. Wow! I DID it, I’m almost there. My fear of failure faded and the excitement of accomplishing my goal was just a mile away.
As I crossed that finish line I had that sense of accomplishment that was overpowering. The pain from running was numb and I couldn’t stop smiling. I faced my fear head on and decided not to be scared of it anymore. So, what if I did pull out if my injury became to much to handle? Would my family and friends really think less of me if I didn’t finish?
NO! And if they did, are those the kind of people I really want in my life?
Take a minute to identify what contributes to self-defeating patterns going on in your life. You must learn to implement different behaviors or thoughts to stop them.
Think about your goal.
How can you adjust your behavior or your attitude to help you achieve that goal?
In my family, I am the one that is passionate about racing. I LOVE everything about it. There is someone in my family, that I feel doesn’t support me at all, in fact they seem to question my very reasoning for racing. This person is important to me and I love that person. In fact, I schedule my races in places where it would be easy to come support me and watch me cross that finish line and see with their own eyes what racing means to me.
Never has that person come to one of my races, or even said good luck, or a good job. NOTHING.
This use to bother me. A LOT. HOW could that person not even care? It made me angry, sad and worthless. I have trained and trained for this race, sweat, blood, and tears went into prep. How could they not realize that it is important to me.
I came to realize somewhere between mile 20 and 26 that I don’t need that persons approval or support. Their satisfaction just didn’t matter. In fact, why did I even care so much in the first place?
I race for me. It is part of my identity they may not see, but their ignorance won’t prevent or stop me from doing something I love. Racing is cool shiz no matter the distance or time.
Fear is a like a dark shadow that can hang above you in all aspects of your life. It is not until we face the sun will the shadow be behind us.
Another fear I want to talk about today is the fear of not matching up to those around you. Whether it be in the gym or professionally.
I sometimes find myself falling into a place of comparison. I have had multiple conversations with close friends that find themselves in the same pit at times. Most of the time, it is turned into a joke. Which is just as dangerous as if someone told me straight to my face. It is easier to find things you DON’T like about yourself then it is to find things you DO like. I complain about my thighs not fitting into my old jean shorts this year, then someone complains about their love handles, big arm, belly and so on.
Obviously, I was projecting a deep insecurity inside myself onto others. DUMB. Hell, I’m actually really good at a lot of things. We all are. Take a minute and write those things down in your journal or on a piece of paper and stick it on your mirror.
Losing weight or striving for health isn’t about you getting to look like a celebrity or like miss hottie-tottie strutting around at the gym. It’s about getting you to have YOUR best body and about living YOUR best life.
Don’t’ make your goal to look like someone else. Be YOU. Chances are someone is looking at you and is thinking. Wow. She is amazing.
Guess what.? YOU ARE!
Find courage and be honest with yourself, you can and will turn failures into tools for success and vehicles for personal growth.
Question of the Day:
What do you fear?
What do you like about yourself?
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Great post! It is so true that we need to have value in ourselves whether we fail or succeed! We are the only once who can truly believe in our own confidence! I don't even like the word failure. No one should believe they are a failure at anything. So you didn't succeed, try again! Everybody makes mistakes, we learn from those and what we chose to learn from those mistakes makes us grow as a person!ReplyDelete
And we totally create our own fear! I've created fears from such silly beliefs. Beliefs that others have told me, from reading books or magazines. Ridiculous.
I am so proud of your for facing your fear of the marathon, kicking its butt and doing it for yourself, no one else!
I love that I am an honest person, who loves doing things for other people and that I have a positive heart. I fear that I won't be able to move forward in my life and find a career I'm really passionate about. I know something out there is meant for me though, I just need to keep searching.
Love, love this!
Have a great Sunday!xox
This is such a great post...needed to read this today. Thank you!! :)ReplyDelete
Love this post Candice! Needed to read this today! Thanks!ReplyDelete
Love this post! Thanks Cand! You are so great and such and inspiration for me, don't change! I totally needed to read this today. I constantly find myself comparing myself to others; I just need to be the best me!ReplyDelete